Happy 4th Birthday Boys!

Today is November 2, 2009. Today would have been your 4th birthdays. But you both are not here. Yet again another year has gone by, and I sit here at the computer and type a birthday message. It seems like every year I write the same thing:

I miss you both. I miss what I no longer have. I miss what I will never know. I miss the opportunity to mother and care for you both. I miss the lives you both never had a chance to live. I miss what will never be.

There is nothing new to write. There is nothing new when it comes to my feelings about my pregnancy with you both, your births, and your untimely deaths. I have already said it. Life is not fair. Life is not always a bowl of cherries. Life is not always what you imagined in your mind as an 8 year old child or a 25 year old adult. Yet, life is not about the lemons that are thrown at us, but the lemonade we make with those lemons. Thank you for helping me to understand that. Thank you for that gift.

Although I celebrate your birthdays without the balloons, the cupcakes, and the typical birthday wares, I also am celebrating life and lemonade.

Much love to you Landon & Carson and Happy 4th Birthday!

Love,

Daddy, Mommy, Big Brother Chandler,

Little Sister Moriah & Little Brother Lincoln

P.S.

Oh, remember that little request I asked of you both last year? Thank you! Did you know that I was actually pregnant when I typed that message?! You little stinkers...

On July 20, 2009, what would have been Nana's 62nd birthday, Lincoln John was born and completed our family!

We are so grateful for our wonderful blessings!

For updates on our family, visit our family blog:

http://www.thecandmpress.blogspot.com

---------------------------------------------------------

Happy 3rd Birthday Boys!

Landon Joesph

November 2, 2005 -

November 6, 2005

&

Carson Paul

November 2, 2005 -

November 7, 2005

Dear Boys,

Another year has come and gone. I can't believe it. Like the last two years, I find myself thinking about you both and what might have been. This is the one time of year that I "allow" myself to feel sad. Don't get me wrong, I am not sad for you, but for myself and for our family. I am sad every time I see twins and even more sad when I see little boy twins. I am sad when I hear someone is pregnant with twins. Not sad for them, but sad for myself because I no longer have my precious little gifts from God. On a happier note, I was cleaning up the kitchen this morning and thinking about both of you and wondering what it will be like in heaven. I suddenly had an epiphany...Mommy has been obsessed with babies since she was a baby. I wanted to be a mommy since my earliest memories. If daddy would let me have a "litter" of kids, I would! I love being a mom and I love children. This led me to think about the biblical passage that says there will be no death, nor pain there. That must mean that we don't age, and if we don't age and there is no pain, there must not be anybody giving birth! ;) I immediately began to think that God knows how much I LOVVEE babies and he has 3 waiting for me when I reach that city! What a joyful thought!

For now, I am enjoying being a mom to big brother Chandler, who is now 7 and doing fabulously well in 2nd grade and to little sister Moriah, who is the fashionista pistol of our family. Although my heart still aches to have you here with us, I rejoice to know that I will again hold you someday!

P.S. Can you send in a request for 1 more blessing to our family...and an extra dose of convincing for your daddy?!

With all my love and adoration...

I love you!

Love, your mommy <3

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Happy 
2nd Birthday 
Landon & Carson!!

November 2, 2005 - 
November 2, 2005

Dear Boys,
There is not a day that goes by that you both don't cross my mind. Although I am quite busy right now, I still think of what I would be doing with the both of you, had you stayed. Sometimes, I allow my mind to wander and think about how you both would be little holy terrors at this age and driving us all batty! I often think about the choices Daddy and I made and wonder if we made the right ones. What would you be like? Who would you look like? Would you both act the same or be totally different? I must admit that it seems like you were born a lifetime ago. It is so hard to fathom losing two perfect little boys, but God knows all things and I choose not to question Him. Instead, I thank Him for the opportunity to carry you both for seven months. 
I choose to thank God for blessing me with your little sister Moriah; what a joy she is to our family! Although there will forever be two empty voids in my heart, I know that God has prepared something spectacular for you both. I celebrate this day in honor of you both...Happy Birthday Landon & Carson!
~~I will always love you ~~
Love, Mommy

For the complete timeline of our boys' short lives, please click on the "His Timeline" link at the top of the page.

Thank you to Rebecca and Jay Dixon and their angel twins 
joshua-jason.dixon.memory-of.com for introducing me to this website. I have found solace in viewing other memorials, which has helped me to realize that our family is not the only family who has suffered great loss. Thank you to everyone who has shared their story.

This memorial website was created in the memory of our much loved and wanted fraternal twin boys, Landon Joseph and Carson Paul Peterson. Our boys were born in Las Vegas, Nevada at 28 weeks, on November 02, 2005. Landon passed away from prematurity complications on Sunday November 6, 2005, with Carson following in his footsteps on Monday, November 7, 2005. Not a day goes by that we do not think of our boys and how much we wanted them! Forever in our thoughts...